There are certain people born to work in the movie business. Steven Spielberg, for instance, was born with emulsion in his veins. It would be hard to imagine Marlon Brando or Meryl Streep working at Citgo or the local grocery store. And some, like Drew Barrymore, simply had to be in Hollywood by virtue of their heritage.
But mostly Hollywood is filled with people who are much better at networking than they are at any creative aspect of filmmaking. These leeches have easy smiles, nice skin, and open, agreeable attitudes. They succeed in the Hollywood game based on hard-to-quantify personal characteristics, rather than creatively-important aspects like talent, vision, or basic competence.
One pure example of this type of Hollywood salesman is the infamous Brett Ratner.
Look at that guy. He looks like an older Jake Gyllenhaal, friendly and inviting. He seems like the kind of guy you’d pound beers with at a bar while watching football or (preferrably) baseball. By all accounts, Ratner is a damn cool guy.
But he’s a piss-poor director. However, despite his glaring lack of talent, Ratner has managed to weasel his way into directing some very expensive tentpole films for major studios … which he then destroyed utterly. How can someone so completely lost behind a camera be trusted so implicitly time and time again? While very talented directors labor in poverty and obscurity, Ratner directs $150 million dollar films, lives in a mansion, fucks models, and goes to the Oscars. Millions of Americans are out of work, yet Brett Ratner remains employable. It’s staggering to contemplate.
Just think of the huge films he has helmed. RUSH HOUR, RUSH HOUR 2, and RUSH HOUR 3. X-MEN: THE LAST STAND. RED DRAGON. THE FAMILY MAN. These films had major stars, huge budgets, and flashy advertising campaigns. Even though films like X-MEN: THE LAST STAND showed Ratner’s inability to cohesively direct action (or even day-to-night shots), he continues to find high-profile work.
Ratner’s roach-like ability to survive the Hollywood game has now secured him yet another deal to “direct” yet another film. Our favorite Michael Bay Lite is now the front-runner to direct the upcoming Milli Vanilli biopic.
A hack making a movie about two phonies. Sounds like a joke, doesn’t it? But the joke is really on us, and Ratner is laughing all the way to the bank.
13 Comments
For the sake of rhetoric, I feel you’re confusing incompetence with mediocrity. I would argue that he a perfectly competent director, and this is precisely why he continues to be employed.
Personally, I have no desire to watch his films because they are bland, not ‘bad’ as such.
@ Paul – Anyone who has seen the jarring day-to-night composition at the end of X-MEN: THE LAST STAND would argue otherwise.
Ok thats one example. But i’d argue any director has clumsy moments in their career. Also, there are dozens – sometimes hundreds – of people involved with making a film. Blaming the director for every flawed element is as naive as crediting them for every successful element.
@ Paul – Let me ask you this: you have a $150 million dollar movie to make. Do you hire Brett Ratner? Why or why not?
“Ratner directs $150 million dollar films, lives in a mansion, fucks models, and goes to the Oscars.”
I want to be this man.
@ roars – EXACTLY. I wasn’t trying to dog on Ratner … he’s successful. We should all be jealous of the guy in some way or another, but just not of his directorial abilities.
“you have a $150 million dollar movie to make. Do you hire Brett Ratner?”
If his films consistently make a profit, then studios will keep giving him jobs. That much is certain. But also, as you rightly point out – he plays the game. Studios like a safe pair of hands. But its also true that they like to occasionally take risks on slightly more ‘maverick’ directors (thankfully) who will create more interesting work – which equals kudos and hopefully a profit – but there are not a lot of them around who can consistently turn a profit. If there were, then Mr Ratner would struggle I’m sure.
He’s a studio hack. He’s not delivering HIS film, he’s delivering a studio film. The Ratt hasn’t made his film yet (maybe it’s the MV pic…). When he finally makes it, it might suck, it might be great, we just don’t know yet.
So what you see with the studio guys is a workman-like, barely acceptable effort — BUT the content of his films is lightweight anyway. They’re not trying to make ORDINARY PEOPLE or the next Godfather, they’re trying to put butts in the seat.
But what do I know?
Mark
@ Paul – Fair enough. His films have been bewilderingly successful, despite a lack of actual entertainment value. I would posit that Ratner’s films have succeeded DESPITE him, mostly due to cast chemistry (RUSH HOUR films) and built in audience loyalty (X-MEN 3).
@ MEDAvidson – Do you really think the guy has a CITIZEN KANE burning inside of him?
No.
@ MEDavidson – Good. I was hoping you weren’t saying that.
Someone Outta cut that man’s balls off!…..And I mean that! most sincerly Folks!
“A hack making a movie about two phonies. Sounds like a joke, doesn’t it?”
Yes, it does…
But it’s not the Rat’s fault…blame it on the Suits!!