Some of these people should REALLY have known better…

10. Paxton’s a Nazi?
Culprit’s: Bill Paxton and Judge Reinhold
Pat Benatar- Shadows of the Night (1984)

Delicious 80s nonsense from the queen of the narrative pop video. “Shadows of the Night” was one of the worst songs of the decade, but it had a genius, ludicrous video that you can’t fail to love. Surely no-one would believe loveable Judge Reinhold as a hard-case DIRTY DOZEN style airman, or WEIRD SCIENCE’s pile of shit Bill Paxton as a Nazi officer? Bit then. Let’s be honest, this isn’t the most realistic video of all time- the fact that those aeroplanes weren’t discovered with what amounts to a sheet covering them is laughable!

9. Cox in Audience Plant Shocker
Culprit: Courtney Cox
Bruce Springsteen- Dancing in the Dark (1984)

Of course she wasn’t a plant! It was just one of those pleasant coincidences that Courtney Cox happened to be at the front of a Springsteen concert on the exact night that The Boss decided to grab a member of the audience to girate on stage with him. If this wasn’t a work of fiction, the ugly factor of the chosen fan would surely have vastly larger, and there would have been at least a small hint of mullet. But no, it is a youthful Cox who gets up to do that limping I’ve-just-stood-on-some-Lego dance that Springsteen seems so fond of. She does look like a boy though.

8. Robin Williams makes a tit of himself (Again)
Culprit: Robin Williams
Bobby McFerrin- Don’t Worry Be Happy (1988)

Ah, Robin Williams. A man who inspires equal affection and disdain in equal measure, and who has the sort of body hair that would surely have made him an early candidate to play Beast in THE LAST STAND if there was any justice in the world. Here he is moustachioed, gooning around like there’s no tomorrow and throwing the kind of shapes only a middle-aged man in a Hawaiian shirt (with no irony, I fear) could be proud of.

7. Snipes is Bad
Culprit: Wesley Snipes
Michael Jackson- Bad (1987)

Just how “bad” can a dancing troupe of hoodlums lead by the grotesque Peter Pan Of Pop actually be? If only Snipes had used some of the skills he showed in BLADE and spoiled Jackson’s years of plastic surgery, instead of standing glowering as his flouncy nemesis leads his groups of leathered up hoods in a chorus of “ You’re doing wrong…” a hundred fucking times.

6. Iron Man Wants Love
Culprit: Robert Downey Junior
Elton John- I Want Love (2001)

“I Want Love” should have been written for Robert Downey Junior, and it’s testament to his simple performance in the video that it seems impossible to think it wasn’t. Simply by wandering around a beautiful house, Downey Jnr manages to convey his own struggle with addiction and his self-destructive spiralling that often threatened to put paid to his career. I would also have included Justin Timberlake’s chameleon-like performance as Elton John in the video for “This Train Don’t Stop There Anymore” if I didn’t think there would be mass protests on the streets that I called Timberlake a movie star.

5. Depp’s Petty Appearance
Culprit: Johhny Depp
Tom Petty- Into the Great Wide Open (1991)

I would like to think that this is where Depp got his inspiration for Willy Wonka. Playing fresh-faced rockstar Eddie Rebel also gives him the opportunity to show off his rockstar credentials: with a Tim Burton-esque bouffant to boot Depp rides through the rise and fall of the fictional mega-star with typical swagger.

4. Slightly Incestuous Tyler Love-In
Culprits: Liv Tyler & Alicia Silverstone
Aerosmith- Crazy (1994)

It always worried me slightly that Steve Tyler would allow his frankly smoking-hot daughter Liv to cavort in this video alongside the impossibly cute Silverstone: there’s got to be a conflict of interest somewhere, especially when the grotesque old dude at the gas station makes it clear what he would like to do to young Miss Tyler with some fiendish looking tongue movements. Best leather pants moment ever though, and I challenge anyone not to be enthralled by the delightful lesbian undertones especially during Liv Tyler’s strip scene. I wonder how Daddy Tyler felt when he first saw this…

3. That Man’s Got Moves
Culprit: Christopher Walken
Fatboy Slim: Weapon of Choice (2001)

Nonchalant facial expression? Check. Impossibly cool demeanour? Check. Swoon-inducing dance skills? Double-check. Following in the footsteps of John Travolta, Christopher Walken proves that men don’t have to abandon all sense of composure or sexiness when they take to the dancefloor. How on Earth a team-up between Brighton’s favourite pill-munching super-DJ and Hollywood’s hippest cult actor ever came about is simply mind-boggling.

2. Arnie Goes Back to School
Culprit: Arnold Schwarzenegger
AC/DC- Big Gun (1993)

Remember when the Governator didn’t take himself quite so seriously? JINGLE ALL THE WAY still gives me nightmares, but the highlight of his foray into slightly self-conscious comedy moments was when he went all Angus Young on us for this ditty recorded for the LAST ACTION HERO soundtrack. While the Australian Lords of Rock take over the stage with familiar panache, Arnie scowls his way through the audience, lights a cigar off some comedy dynamite and then is transformed spectacularly into a mammoth sized schoolboy. I’m sure the effect they were going for was like a muscular Angus Young type, but Arnie spoils it all with that famous moronic grin of his and even worse when he tries to copy Young’s infamous duck walk, and looks a little too much like he is trying to hump poor little Angus.

1. The Thrill of the Chase
Culprit: Chevy Chase
Paul Simon- You Can Call Me Al (1986)

Still the best music video of all time- Chevy Chase has probably never been funnier than when he lip-sinks to Paul Simon’s greatest hit. Simon himself plays the dead-pan sidekick to perfection, wandering off periodically and coming back to half-heartedly add his backing vocals. Everything about this video is fantastic comedy- the timing, the ridiculous size difference between the two men, Chevy’s kiss curls, even the glass through the drum stand gag. Great song as well.