Directed by: Jonathan Gershfield

Written by Steve Lewis, Tony Owen

Starring Mackenzie Crook, Colm Meaney, Imelda Staunton, Gemma Arterton, Kerry Katona, Gary Lewis

Distributed by Worldwide Bonus Entertainment

Film is released on April 25th 2008 in the U.K.

Review by Michael Edwards

Three and Out begins with a tragic event many London-based commuters will be, at least indirectly, familiar with - a person under a train. Or, put more succinctly, a guy getting squashed by a train. After a few days compassionate leave traumatised London Underground driver Paul Callow (Mackenzie Crook) returns to work only to have someone else fall beneath the wheels of his mighty subterranean train, much to his distress. But as he drowns his sorrows in a nice relaxing cup of tea he hears something from his colleagues which perks him up a little bit. Supposedly if you suffer the miserable fate of running down three people in a month London Underground pays you off with 10 years’ salary, but the tricky part is that Paul has two weeks more compassionate leave and will thus have to find an unfortunate soul to mow down in just a few days.

Sound like a set up for an uproarious British comedy caper? Well yes. And it’s definitely being touted as such. But it really really isn’t. The premise, a large chunk of the set-up, and a twist at the end comprise a majority of the outright comedy on offer, with the remainder forming a kind of dramedy: a character-based tale which seems as likely to seek you to question your own lifestyle as to make you laugh. You see, Paul Callow isn’t just a run-of-the-mill tube driver, or even a deliberately quirky one, he’s an introverted lad who just wants to save up some cash and leave the noisy confines of his city flat and escape to a small house in the country where he can work on a novel (a fact we’re relentlessly reminded of by a ridiculously overdone photo of a small house by a big hill which Paul often stares at, accompanied by Celtic sounding refrains). And in his search for someone to squash he manages to find suicidal down-and-out Tommy Cassidy (a well on-form Colm Meaney) who he offers a wad of cash to end his miserable life under the wheels of Paul’s train. The resulting deal sees the two misfits set off on a road trip on which Tommy tries to make up for his many past mistakes, say his final farewells, and have some fun before he ends it all.

Amidst the pile of predictable and formulaic plot turns, there are some great moments to be had. I laughed pretty hard as I watched Tommy and Paul attempt to steal a hefty piece of jewelry from a sleeping woman armed only with a crowbar and some liquid soap, and Imelda Staunton makes every scene with Rosemary, Tommy put-upon ex-wife, pack a decent emotional punch. But the bottom line is that the marketing of this film reflects its most fundamental flaw, it hasn’t really decided what it wants to be. The premise is ridiculous and there are a lot of quite amusing capers within the tale, but it’s not often laugh-out-loud funny. And for all the talents of Colm Meaney and Imelda Staunton it only ever teeters on the brink of the serious intensity of a well-made drama before you’re dropped back into the mediocrity of a quasi-comic set-piece. This alone is enough to make the film more frustrating than satisfying, but when it came to the end of the film I found myself begging for mercy as the filmmakers just drag conclusions on and on, they pass one nice neat ending after another before settling on a disgustingly cliched and saccharin sweet scene which made me groan so loudly the person sat next to me thought my appendix had exploded.

But perhaps I’m exaggerating now. The film was entertaining, the characters were well-written and the performances accomplished. There was a liberal smattering of passable jokes and a few glimpses of well-composed observations on the trials of life. It’s just that even they were mediocre and seemed to counter their own effectiveness by smothering gags in drama and drama in gags, all of which meant I left the cinema feeling pretty unsatisfied, and the feeling of dissatisfaction only grows every time I think back on the film…