The Marginally-Decent Hulk

Let’s just get this out in the open right now: The Hulk is one of the most boring superheroes in the history of comic books.

Let’s detail what makes him so undeniably incredible:

1. He gets mad.
2. He grows large, turns green, and magically acquires purple pants.
3. He smashes shit.
4. Rinse and repeat.

Folks, this is not the depth of material upon which to base an entire franchise. I mean, the Green Lantern makes more sense. Aquaman might have a better backstory and purpose in fighting crime. In fact, I’d even take The Wonder Twins over this nonsense.

Despite the obvious problems inherent in the “story” of the Hulk, director Ang Lee gamely attempted to bring some depth and humanity to his plight with his 2003 adaptation. While the film had an interesting visual motif, the limp lack of a proper foil for our “hero” and all of the psycho-babble Daddy subplots angered the fanboys. All two of them.

Marvel, knowing full well that they have managed to successfully market Hulk comic books over the years, decided to give their big green moneymaker another cinematic chance by rebooting the franchise a mere four years after the first film.

Of course the buzz flowing freely from the set of the new movie, cleverly titled The Incredible Hulk, has been less than confidence-building. Then the first trailers were released, which inspired a collective yawn from a geeky fanbase already saturated by the splendors of better trailers from better summer blockbusters (i.e. anything else out there).

So now, in a desperate move, Marvel has released another trailer in the hopes of starting some sort of positive buzz. Here it is:

My thoughts:

From watching the first trailer, I had a distinct feeling that the film would contain one action scene in the streets of a city, preceded by two hours of whining. This trailer addresses that palpable concern by showing that there are possibly two action scenes in the movie, punctuated by the same whining we saw in the first trailer.

Does Liv Tyler need to look like she just finished crying in EVERY SINGLE ROLE SHE EVER PLAYS? I have had enough of the pouty-faced, doe-eyed routine that she wore out in Armageddon and The Lord of the Rings.

Edward Norton is the absolute wrong person to play the role of Bruce Banner/The Hulk. I understand the premise - Bruce is a science nerd and a drip. Great. And Norton is undeniably a terrific actor. But Norton’s appeal comes from playing aggressive, unstable outsiders as in American History X. And while he here plays an outsider with obvious problems with aggression, Norton is a fairly cold presence onscreen; this is exactly why some of his roles have that edge to them. He is the wrong guy to pull off a comic book creation, especially the hero of one that is expected to garner the enthusiasm of an audience. Norton is too slouchy, too schlubby, too vacant.

They have whipped up some sort of villain for the Hulk in this movie, but he obviously comes in very late in the film (shades of the Venom mistake from Spidey 3). Besides that, the confrontation looks fairly standard and poorly rendered from this trailer. Where’s the one money-shot that is supposed to bolster trailers like these??

All in all, I think this will prove to be one of the great failures of 2008. Yes, it will make money, but I think the limitations of the character, in addition to a failed translation, equal box office poison.

Categories: Ang-Lee, Edward-Norton, Liv-Tyler, Movie News, The Incredible Hulk, Trailers

24 Comments »

Trailer looks miles better than the first. I’m still confused, though. Does this film use Ang Lee’s HULK as canon? Is it a direct suquel or is it more like Superman Returns was to Superman II?

Comment by Phil | April 30, 2008

@ Phil - This in intended as a complete reboot, as if Lee’s film had never happened. This kind of confusion will no doubt also adversely effect box office.

Comment by Ray | April 30, 2008

I read the script details months ago and it sounded a lot like you could take it as a sequel or choose not to. Don’t know what changes were made.

The CGI doesn’t look any better to me. I had a feeling it wouldn’t look right during the day. Looks better at night.

I’m one of the few who enjoyed Lee’s Hulk. I liked the comic book panels and enjoyed seeing the Bruce and Betty as products of bad parenting.

Comment by Lencho | April 30, 2008

The geek in me liked some of the stuff in this new trailer(watch it in Hi def by the way, it’s much better.) but I still carn’t get past the new casting of which to me couldn’t be bettered from Ang Lee’s film.
I dont think it’s confusing at all, it’s just like comics..i.e
New writer, New artist. simple as that! it you dont get it you are stupid.
Still think it will be the big flop of the summer though.

Comment by The Glove | April 30, 2008

HD version on YouTub…

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Au1Vhd2Bytg

Comment by Lencho | May 1, 2008

Tired of pouty, just finished crying Liv you say? Check out “One Night At McCool’s” by my partly awesome fellow countryman Harald Zwart, a very cool flick indeed!

Comment by epleterte | May 1, 2008

Whoever the Fuck Wrote This review is an Ignorant and negative piece of shit. Do you even read your own writing?
You said that “Norton’s appeal comes from playing aggressive, unstable outsiders”. Brice Banner Is THE KING of outsiders, he’s forced to be alone at all times for fear of wehat he will do to people. In Fight club he had tyler durdan and in this movie it’s just a much bigger and greener version of tyler. Bruce doen’t want to go around smashing, you won’t see bruce transform for shits and giggles, it’s a self defense mechanism. What More Action Do you Need, The U.S. Military are busting loose on the jade giant and hunting down banner.
Even though Abomination (which wasn’t just “whipped up” for the film, he’s actually the Hulk’s greatest Advisary.) probally won’t appear until close to the end, Emil Blonsky (abomination) will have more action sequences and a deeper and more ruthless hatred for Hulk than Venom for Spider-man.
Just so you don’t get told again, get your facts straight and do a bit of research on the subject you’re writing about instead of ignorant nonsense you pull out of you ass and slop together so it look like you did something to please your editor.

Comment by Madhatt3r | May 1, 2008

@ Madhatt3r - Gee whiz … I just love when people don’t read entire sentences before spewing!! The very next sentence admits quite freely that he is playing an aggressive outsider. My point is that Norton’s zero-energy style will not translate well to a comic book adaption.

Also, I freely admit in the story that I know nothing about The Hulk’s adversaries or backstory from the comic books. You obviously do - GREAT. I am writing this is the place of the average moviegoer, all of which I guarantee will stay away from this movie based on the reasons I enumerate here.

Hope you enjoy seeing movies by yourself.

Comment by Ray | May 1, 2008

DUE TO RECENT INCREASED TRAFFIC, WE HAVE MAJOR TECHNICAL SERVER PROBLEMS TODAY SO IF THE SITE LOOKS FUNNY TO YOU THEN YOU KNOW WHY. THIS WILL ALSO EXPLAIN THE LACK OF UPDATES… WE ARE WORKING ON THE PROBLEM BUT A QUICK RESOLVE DOES NOT SEEM LIKE AN OPTION RIGHT NOW.

Comment by Matt Holmes | May 1, 2008

I assumed something was up. Everything looks centered for me. The articles, links to other articles, and comments. Even the ads.

Comment by Lencho | May 1, 2008

If you don’t know anything about what you’re writing about then you should either research it or don’t write about it at all. Ignorant Writing is second to illiterate writing

Comment by Madhatt3r | May 1, 2008

@ Madhatt3r - I wrote my article as a fan of film, and as a fan of superhero films and summer blockbusters. I did not write the article to summarize every intricate detail of the Hulk phenomenon.

You will not find one writer on any movie website who will diligently research every topic’s backstory and read every comic book before writing a story; there simply isn’t enought time in the day to do that. And besides, as I said at the beginning of the article, I think the Hulk is a fairly idiotic “superhero” anyway, so I never felt the need throughout my life to study each comic book and become acquainted with every nuance of the character and the backstory.

I wrote the story as a fan of film in general, and my impressions of the trailer. Seriously, stop being a whiny little fanboy douche bag.

Comment by Ray | May 1, 2008

I like the trailer, but I agree with Ray. So far, I’m reading a big “Meh!”

Comment by JaySmack | May 2, 2008

Norton’s portrayal could go either way–I agree that he is missing the sort of “warm charm” that makes movies like Iron Man appealing, but at the same time the sort of “nervous desperation” Norton is bringing to his interpretation of Banner may be all the more compelling. That sort of personality worked great in Fight Club, but we’ll have to see if it come across as acceptable considering the rather light superheroics of the rest of the film.

Comment by Michael Kaminski | May 2, 2008

@RAY- All that i’m saying is that as someone writing this article you did a terrible job, you slopped down only what you thought of first which cause it to be poorly written. I could write a same-length article that greatly surpasses the skill of yours, and I could post in in under a half an hour If you so wish.

Comment by Madhatt3r | May 2, 2008

Love the trailer. I’m now feeling much more positive about this film.

Comment by Hellen | May 2, 2008

This review is not only biased its complete BS! I am not saying that the movie is going to be a good or great one but lets state facts as they are. The 4-year later revamp is a great idea, strike while the irons hot, comic book movies are in so its most profitable right now!
Ed Norton is not a just an actor who plays unstable maniacs. “Primal Fear,” “Fight Club,” and “Death to Smoochy” are just a couple of movies where he has played calmer roles. He is one of the best actors and has a wide range and could play any movie! And with William Hurt on the other side as the general, and Tim Roth as the villian what is there to complain about.
I have enough faith in the fact that Marvel recognized the original Hulk movie as a failure and our doing enough to fix it to believe that they are not going to do the same song and dance. It amazes me that people are able to pass so much criticism on a movie that has so much going for it after seeing 2 two-minute trailers! While I am not saying that this movie will be awesome I can honestly say that I’m psyched to see what comes out. At the very least: It can’t be worse then Spiderman 3!

Comment by Stew | May 2, 2008

Amen to that stew, Not saying it’ll be bigger than Meatloaf or anything, but you’ve gotta give every film it’s chance. There’s an excellent cast first off. and yes, marvel has acknowledged their “failure” so they’re making it up to us with another shot at the jade giant.

Comment by Madhatt3r | May 2, 2008

LOL … Madhatt3r called him “the jade giant.” How fucking embarrassing. Instead of attempting to give me tips on writing, why don’t you put on your Hulk footy pajamas, crawl into bed, and silently masturbate under your Hulk bedsheets until the day of release. At that point you’ll then have two things to be disappointed about.

Comment by Ray | May 2, 2008

The “Jade Giant” Is the nickname as commonly associated with the Hulk as calling Iron Man “shellhead”, Spiderman “webhead”, Gambit “Raging Cajun’”, Nightcrawler “The Furry Blue Elf”, Thor “Goldilocks”, Captain America “Boy Scout”, and Ray DeRousse “Shithead for a writer”. Not just some name i made up as my idolizing the hulk or anything like that. maybe you’re just a bit down because you got told by someone who actually knows what the fuck they’re talking about. I actually know the actor’s and their work, the character’s and their plots and personalities, what it is that makes a good comic or any film in general a good movie or just a piece of mouth-watering eye candy.

Comment by Madhatt3r | May 2, 2008

Madhatter and Ray, I think you both have really good points actually.
While reading Ray’s summary and opinion of the movie there were many points that he brought up that were entertaining and intriguing. Some of the things that he said I had to say to myself as I was reading “hey that’s true” or “I also noticed that” i.e. his first 3 comments about the hulks story, his amusing synopsis of Ang Lee’s Hulk (even though I thought the movie was ok…a little slow at times but ok over all.) Ray’s summary of Liv Tyler is also funny, and admit it, some of you even thought that yourself when you read it, didn’t you?
However, Madhatter had some good points as well, such as his facts on the Bruce Banner’s character and superhero nicknames. One of his points too, although I generalized this one from all that he said is that you seem too much against this movie, especially since you did say “I wrote my article as a fan of film, and as a fan of superhero films and summer blockbusters.” But as a fan of superhero films, I think you should just be glad that there’s so many you can enjoy, or watch and critic what could have been better, rather than hate it from the start before you even see it. I must also clarify that I’m not a Hulk fan in the least, but I’ll watch the movie and see how it goes, after all it’s a comic movie so it should be fun.
Oh sorry, my point in writing all this is to say that you both have some good points, now stop arguing. Unless you want to that is, that’s also entertaining to some readers, so…in their case, you can continue if you want to.

Comment by Johsua | May 2, 2008

*critic = critique

Comment by Johsua | May 2, 2008

@ Josh- Wow all this time I thought no one was listening. Sure the arguing was somewhat fun but it irks be to quite some degree when a defenseless movie is snuffed out before it can breathe. Thanks for commenting, I love it when there’s a referee. And its not like I’m going to bash every piece of writing Ray does, only the stuff I disagree with. I’d be happy to agree if he were to ever be right. lol j.k.

Comment by Madhatt3r | May 3, 2008

I think Edward Norton is perfect for this part.. not only does he resemble Bill Bixby from the T.V hulk he is also geeky looking just like Bruce Banner suppose to be.. not to mention that his acting is A+
Give the movie a chance.. it was just a trailer lol

Comment by Just* | May 16, 2008

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