Quint over at Ain’t It Cool News has read the script for Rob Zombie’s utterly pointless remake of “Halloween.”
And it turns out to be everything any fan of the original feared most.
Quint reports that the first 40 pages of the script involve little Mikey Myers and his screwed up family, giving the Shape a backstory just like Zombie promised. Funny … I have watched the original around 30 times, and never once wanted to know what Myers made with his Erector Set as a child. I guess that’s because Myers, who was called “The Shape” in the original script, doesn’t need a backstory; he is the fucking BOOGEYMAN.
With all of the killing of innocent people in the world, why are people like Zombie allowed to live? I have only one recourse:
Dear Rob Zombie,
Tonight I pray to God that you are stricken with terminal, inoperable colon cancer the day after this picture is wrapped. That way, the last things you will ever hear will be the screams of derisive laughter from the millions you’ve offended as you die an agonizing death.
And while God would normally blanch at such a request, I’m sure even he can appreciate the brilliance upon which you shit so ignorantly. You’re dead meat, you dumbass son of a bitch.
Hate,
Ray
Like Quint said at the end of his script review …
“You can play around with a lot of things… setting, style, camera movement and certain characters, but to mess with Michael Myers as a movie monster is unforgivable.”
Amen, brotha.
6 Comments
I’ve seen a lot of horror movies and I’ve read a lot of comic books with super villains.
Usually, the more you know about the villains backstory, the less scary or mysterious they are. Fred Krueger only works in the original because we only know “bits” about him. Michael Myers is a great villain because we know even less about him.
The Joker in the comic books was an awesome villain, but once they gave him a backstory, he became a little less scary (although in retrospect, The Killing Joke is one of my favourite graphic novels).
I haven’t read the review, I want to see this thing for myself with as fresh eyes as possible, but to be fair, we all knew this was going to bad.
I think Rob Zombie is just trying to really push out a new film. He did say from the very beginning he has no intentions of doing the same story. Its obvious hes trying to draw in a new audience if you ask me, but he really is risking alienating the older fans, Great article!
@ Matt: I completely agree with you, although I am hesitant to even see this movie because I don’t want my money encouraging this kind of rape of other movies. What’s next? Zombie remaking “Citizen Kane,” except with more information on the making of Rosebud????
@ Michael: THere is no “risk” here…he is absolutely alienating fans, and many of them will burn down the theaters showing this cinematic abortion. How can there even BE “new fans” to “Halloween?” All someone needs to do is watch the originl, and BAM! they’re a fan. This is one movie that should be re-released every ten years, so that the next generation gets to experience it properly. It’s perfect as it is, and absolutely should not be touched. Bad move, Zombie!!
I’ve yet to see a good movie by Zombie. Both Devil’s Rejects and House of 1k Corpses were as annoying and juvenile as could be. I’m pretty sure Zombie won’t have young michael shouting “shit the bed!” and the like in hopes for a laugh from the 12 year old crowd, but you never can tell.
I think anyone who would wish bodily harm/terminal disease on someone for making a film should be stricken with the same disease and more! You are a horrible human being and should rethink your role in life!
@ Corpse: yeah. yeah, yeah … except that Zombie has no role other than as as a germ-like microbe on the road to terminal cancer. It’s not that I wish cancer upon the guy; it’s that such a fate is OWED the guy after such a shiteous remake.
Sorry if you’re a fan of Zombie’s, on behalf of you and your offspring.