Tin-Tin is well on the way, Jonny Quest has been announced, the Thundercats cant be far off, and something very strange is going on with the rights to Hanna-Barbera, with the improbable sounding Jetson’s movie scheduled for 2012. Is this the time for cartoon adaptations? Let’s hope this little lot arent an indication of what’s to come…

10. Transformers (2007)

I know this list is supposed to be my own intellectual property, but there’s no denying that my ignorance of Bayformers would spark some kind of fan-boy riot. The film might have been a great big slice of camp robot shaped frollicks, with too little plot, but the truth is I enjoyed Transformers, in a “please check your brain at the door” kind of way. I’m just not deluded enough to think my own opinion matters here…

9. Dragonball Evolution (2009)

Okay so it was a manga craze before it became an incredible television phenomenon, but the cartoon is my major reference point for the Dragonball universe and it is one that was fundamentally betrayed by this improbably dumb adaptation. Shame on Chow Yun Fat for his part in it.

8. The Flintstones (1994)

The sets were a real artistic triumph; it’s just a shame the acting going on in the foreground was so mismatched and there was essentially only one joke. I hate to stray into tabloid territory, but needs must: three words for The Flintstones- Yabba Dabba Don’t.

7. Scooby Doo (2002)

If this CGI monster doesn’t irritate you, you’re either a sugar-filled six year old with the attention span of a particularly dopey gold-fish or you’re on day release from somewhere with nice soft walls. Good riff on the hugely hated Scrappy Doo character at the end though.

6. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (1990)

I have to stress here that I only mean the original movie: the subsequent follow-ups in this particular series of adaptations were pretty damn awesome (but not the self-indulgent and severely disappointing TMNT). I was an impossibly huge fan of the Turtles, back when they were a bona-fide merchandising colossus, and as such was furiously excited by the prospect of the 1990 feature, but even then I recognised that all was not well with the pizza loving amphibians. The problem wasn’t the silliness since the concept itself is hardly high-art and nor is it remotely believable but it’s the disjointed execution that ensures that Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles never reached the heights of the cartoons.

5. Garfield (2004)

Another bloody CG pet. Even Bill Murray’s irresistible voice work couldn’t save this sloppy family-friendly adaptation which abandoned the inherent subtlety of the original comic strip and replaced it with a raucous energy that simply cannot be reconciled with Jim Davis’ gentle creation. And what the hell’s with making Odie a real dog?

4. The Masters of the Universe (1987)

A controversial choice, Dolph Lundgren’s He-Man vehicle was an unmitigated failure but will forever inspire rabid fan-boy attraction because of what it represents. I seriously struggle to see how Lundgren managed to bag this role, considering he has the acting skill of a tennis ball, but even an inspired casting couldn’t have saved Masters… It’s an irredeemable mess, with one of the worst scripts ever, and although it was an adaptation of a toy line, it pissed on the legacy of the eminently watchable cartoon to such an extent that it qualifies for this list.

3. Asterix

I have an enormous amount of respect for Gerard Depardieu, but three outings as the obese Obelix- sidekick to everyone’s favourite Roman-spanking Gaul- is too much of a stretch even for me.

2. Inspector Gadget (1999)

In the wake of Ferris Bueller’s Day Off, Matthew Broderick was no doubt hailed as a proper leading man, missing the point that his success relied upon a crucial cult appeal, and ensuring an ensuing career sprinkled with some serious miscasting: Godzilla, The Producers and most notably this awful adaptation of the awesome Inspector Gadget cartoons. It should have been Tim Curry, with his inimitable oddness, and not the grown-up indie anti-hero who donned the famous mackintosh, but it wasn’t, and the film fizzed out limply without anyone even casting it a sideways glance. It spawned an even worse sequel without Broderick that doesn’t even deserve to be considered for this list.

1. The Flintstones in Viva Rock Vegas (2000)

A second entry for the Bedrock celebrities, which I wouldn’t usually allow, but for the extenuating circumstances of this toilet of a sequel. Gone is the marginal star appeal of John Goodman and Rock Moranis to be replaced almost unbelievably by one of the Baldwin runts and the fat one out of The Full Monty. It was all just a series of jokes based around “hilarious” pre-historic versions of modern technology, and geological plays on words which was all well in good for the first few times in the first film, but after a while is the special brand of tedious that inspires murderous rage. How on Earth The Flintstones even inspired a sequel shall forever be a mystery (oh how I wish I wasn’t cynical enough to know it was the dollar signs), but one can only hope this finally will be the nail in the stone coffin.

Special Mention

Thunderbirds (2004)

It isn’t a cartoon, but it stinks: strictly speaking the original series didn’t require a cinematic adaptation, it was always shot with an artistry that didn’t quite fit with the medium, making it more than just a children‘s puppet show. And how many other puppet to movie adaptations are there that sucked enough to warrant a list of their own?